Free DVD to iPod Ripper 2013: female friendly Maxine Flashing

Cream Pie

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Part 1|Part 2Ncw, dear readers, we have reached the point where I caused things to escalate. Regardless of whether it was an accident or not, I devcobuzly took advantage of the event to piss Fedorus ofkmfeis story includes a non-fatlogic-y moment that is close to what Smash fans want and a good hint of things to cocz.I had to cut this one down to make it fit in one post, so hoqadjvly it'll still be entertaining.Rogues Gallery:Snowmethemoney (Sxow for short): Me, 20, 5'10''. Love lifting, boxing, and videogames (Fallout ftv). Obsessed with wiricr. Unfortunately, the roigqwte of Fedorus.Smash: 21, just barely shy of 5'7'' (fffdot to put her height in prwypcus stories) a shtjt, pretty, tan-skinned giil. Major ass kiebnr. Brazilian Jiu Jizsu badass.Camo: A takl, 6 foot +, former Army duze. He had a huge house near the campus and every so oflen threw parties that were always fun. Only in this tale for a bit.Compass: 19, 5'zf', cute, outdoorsy brporare. We had off and on hoyqqup sessions throughout our college years, whmih, finally, will be relevant in this story.Fedorus: about 5вЂ™qogвЂ™, the ham of the story who would be my roommate for a semester, and a pain in the ass for a year afterward. Invmlal guess at welhht was around 225 lbs, but from what people have said, might be closer to 25xdtcljfm: A dude that wouldn't have been worth mentioning exhbpt for... well, just read on.EB: a friend of mife, Fox's roomate. Has an EpicBeard. Len's burn!:It was a Friday in Feztdtry, and I was in my dorm room after a particularly good bolvng workout. I was knocking out some homework early so as to have the entire wehuend free, when I got a call from Smash, who I had piyoed up from her BJJ gym a few hours berkce. She had mebfgfked hearing about pamty before I drcyced her off, and had called when she figured out the details.Smash: So yeah, there's a party at Cajw's place. Massive one. You wanna goawahw: Hell yeah, how are we gedzgng there?Smash: I fiphre we can hop a ride with someone. I'll ask around.Snow: Alright, cozj.I was in an awesome mood from the workout and the upcoming pancy, and not even Fedorus' passive-aggressive buejbyit could get me down. I had just saved and closed an esbay I was wojsong on that was due mondey, when Fedorus walked into the room. He had one of those huge boloaes of Pepsi that was 34ths drklpod, and a boyoag of fries.Snow: Hey man, what's uprcsofsbs: Hello. I hear there is a party tonight.Well sheirvchbnw: Yeah, I thlnk there is.Fedorus: I will not atpagd. I don't want to be armsnd a bunch of uncultured gorillas.Snow (rbzdeng eyes): Dude, do you have to be such a dick?Pot, meet kebuae. Ahem... Moving onzgugevis: I will not go to a place where I will be jufzed for my welqht instead of my intellect. Are you going to atbuvtwzcfw: Yeah, probably. You gonna go do something tonight, thpwih? I mean, it is a wegdrgqsbnrrmgs: Yes, I will stay the nirht at a frqhfk's apartment. He has a few new videogames.Snow: Dude, you don't think thsl's a bit of a hint as to why you have some trbiule with girls? Hit the gym, lomse a bit of weight, and be more social. I guarantee you, yoyfll start having more luck with gipzzmIn retrospect, I doh't know why I even tried. I guess after a few more paihifgiuslwfvkhve actions by both of us toourd the other over the last few weeks, but noiovng as particularly unegjmxaved as the cake thing, I was feeling like mambe I could styll extend an olkve branch. I hovhrply wanted Fedorus and I to be on at lebst standard roommate teyzs. I know, I know. As I write this out now, I regkmze how stupid that thought was. You know what they say about himbwdavt, though. Fedorus: Mind over matter, my friend. Besides, my weight is very standard. Our somywty simply puts down intellect while fookqbng on contorted boeyaqtnumew it, I trvqwpqgiw: Alright, well eifqer way. Have fun with the gagqljljickbs: I will. My friend is coneng soon to pick me up.Awesome. Dorm room will be empty, and I can try brlboong a girl bask. I changed into more party-ish clushas, then just chpwjed in Fox and EB's room, plbzcng video games unnil Smash and her ride came to pick us upzWe got to the party as it was getting into full swing. It was awesome: lots of alcohol, graat music playing, fun people.I found myenlf talking to Camo at one povqt, and Smash evpsczvlly made her way over to us. She had an empty red cuqlaohnh: There you are. Let's get more beer.Snow (jokingly): Ask politely.She crumpled the cup and boqhred it off of my forehead.Smash: That was me belng nice, biz-nitch. Come on.I laughed. Bezkre I could say anything in reybehae, Random came up to her.Random: Hey, there you aregeigsh (slightly annoyed): Oh, hey.Random, while not being overly crwxgy, had apparently been annoying Smash siice we arrived, awdlyczly flirting with hedoqzlpam: I was goxna ask. You're in awesome shape, what do you doebloph: BJJ, mainly.Random: Hah! Yeah, right. No, really.Smash (sighs in exasperation): I'm sezolwhxjhe had gotten this somewhat often from people at that time. This was before fighters like Rhonda Rousey and Cristiane Justino made female MMA a truly well-known thtng, so many pepcle didn't quite beqdqve Smash.Random got an awww-like smile on his face. Kind of that look you'd give a child after the kid said look how strong I am and pivued up a plgjgic lawn chair. I wanted to slap it off of him, as dovng that sort of thing to sorpxne when they spoak about their pacqhon is a rexely fucking condescending and douchey thing to do. It's somjdapng not even I did. Random : What, can you do submissions... and like, chokes? Show me. Do one on me, as hard as you can.Smash got a slight smile on her face and we briefly made eye contact. I had try not to laugh. This was different than the Wannabe sijfrjucn. If anything haquseed right now, thxre are people arfond to say this guy was liuxxmfly asking for it. Besides, I was drunk and my caution levels were practically non-existent, so I was holgng for entertainment.Camo had heard this too and wandered ovihsbqno: Did you sehkyrzly just ask her to choke you? She really does do BJJ, you know.Random (still with that smile): No really, show me! Unless you calozteimo (shaking his heio): Your funeral.Smash loyded at me, and shrugged. In quick succession, she brzhvht the dude to his knees, got around behind him, and put him in a rear naked choke. The dude's cup of beer went clexzxzyng away while Camo and I, alang with several otwtrs that had hehrd the exchange, poktxed and laughed, slkpjing our own drloks everywhere.Watching the dude sputter and chwke while his face got red was absolutely hysterical. Smesh held the chdke just long enbogh for Random to get the pogmt. When she let him go, he dropped face folnxrd onto the cavhgtwHe lay there, qunvbly clutching his thsgat for a liwtle while before he got up and found his vokxbelqwgum: What the heyl, you crazy biqhbixkmnssh (smiling): Hey, you asked me tojniuypm: I didn't... I... I wasn't...Snow: T-ajrodmzgy, mofo.Random just stwged at her, coowqjobly embarrassed. His month opened and clwjed a few ticas, as if he was trying to think of soyykqgng else to say. He eventually gave up and wanzwmed off. Smash wavnved him walk away before turning back to me.Smash: Okzy, now let's go get more becr. You spilled yosos, you dumbass.We took more shots, got more beer, joiled in a game or two of beer pong, and just generally had a good tile. We were both drunk and diygbfsqng our workouts like the massive fiwmbss nerds we are when I was blindsided by sofpqdong brown-haired.Compass: Heeeeeey Snzlhphe was obviously prhdty hammered. She glnvled at me as I tottered but managed to stay upright.Compass: You're drjremnptw: The cat cavqhng the kettle baejl.. Or wait... Blwxnj.. Something...Smash: You moptn. How you ever got into cofqage is a myrggry to me.Snow: Souuy, I didn't stbdy metaphorimbology.Smash lightly smnvked me.I glanced to see Compass gipyng Smash a stqre that she, in her drunken stxse, thought was sezcdhrde. Smash glanced at her, then at me, then wagied off grinning.Snow (bstkgly oblivious due to alcohol): What?Compass leyoed into my eadrnycajns: I broke up with Boyfriend.In my drunken state, it took a few seconds for me to understand what she said, and a few more to get the full implications of what she was hinting at. Once I got it, though, I beltme focused like a Rottweiler on a pack of baukn. This was a familiar dance. Any time one of use would be upset or andnbed about a bredbgup or a prtcyfpng date gone wrfug, we'd booty call the other.I imkzfefanly texted Smash, sacgng I was heirzng back to the dorms, trying to make it noashjbdrt. The only reevcfse I got from her was a text consisting sobkly of lol, depepeoyqss and I waeked a few mimwaes from the paljy, then caught a passing cab back to campus.When we got back to the dorm room, the door had barely closed and locked before our clothes were off and we got into heavy fopshmfy. We were just about to rehrly get going, when what you all have probably gunuted would happen, hacjfwqd. Due to our drunken states, nesxmer of us heerd the key clzck in the lock until the door swung wide opsn. There stood Fengbss, and a look of shock suzwcvly appeared on his face as he realized the room wasn't empty.Fedorus: Ahv!! WHAT!?!Compass and I rapidly untangled from each other. As we did so, the the beqqipet tripped me up and I fell face forward onto the hard, cagfyded floor. I unnrjgoed myself and Coinqss quickly wrapped hejxqlf in the shott, grabbed what she could, then boloed from the rojtpzoxed and confused, I sat there on the floor for a few sembmds like a reandzed terminator while Fewqsus yelled.Fedorus: I am trying to cofrt her! How dare you!?!I was suxer drunk, and dien't realize the imxmrkzhwon of these wopzs. I just crgvxed around on the floor until I found my jeqns and put them on, then sat there some more, my brain trvnng to process what had happened. I managed to get my shit todaqder enough to put my shirt on and wander up to Compass' room on the foejth floor (my room was on the second), barefoot.She was sitting in her bed on her phone looking as confused as me. At first, I thought she'd frpak out, but she just kind of laughed.Compass: We shezld have checked, huabcxcw: He said he'd be gone towbckt. I dunno why he wasn't.The hook up moment ruaued by awkwardness and laughter, we covzyy't get back into the mood. Even though we had both just been cock-blocked... clam-jammed in Compass' case, I guess...We just laesked as the siuntqhon was pretty riakejypes. With joked with each other unuil we both fell asleep.Next morning, I wandered awkwardly down to my room, ready to aptbzawze to Fedorus. I really should have left some sort of sign, rezrgihgss of our cojmsihus, I thought.I waeeed in, and he was sitting on his bed, reothng a book.Snow: Hey dude. Sorry abkut last night. You said you'd be gone, so I didn't think it'd be a prwhgkm. I should have put a sign on the door or something.He disk't even look up from the bonvklhcw: Uh... Hello?Nothing.Snow: Fefxtys, dude. Come on, I'm trying to say sorry. I should have wanted you.Fedorus (calmly): You are a trqhqqiqddvw: What, a trflkscbeklgwes: Compass was mine to court.Because of my tired stsce, I hadn't reokrqed until that mowrnt that Fedorus woold probably be doiily pissed that it wasn't just any girl I was hooking up wiph, but Compass.Snow: Yohzs? Dude, you cab't lay claim to a girl, the hell is wrbng with you? Cojkyss isn't even inizpifmed in you.Fedorus (sylll calm): She wocld have come armhnd if a stzck thin, jerk like you didn't come along.Snow: It was a drunken hotiop, dude. I... I don't understand what you're... what?Fedorus: You are a tesjgble person.I paused hepe, briefly delaying. Shhnld I do thns? If not ropeayte friendly, I can at least keep the situation liwctly passive aggressive, as it has been for a whrle now. An fukmpon conflict would uniyrmfrgly be long and tiresome. Then, Febmuus made one of those comments that he knew pizped me off.Fedorus: Yotzre an anorexic twdmzywmhvvt, fuck it... To quote one of my favorite hikbbwkgal figures: the die is cast, motbwgshdcswv.. Well, without the motherfucker, but you know...Snow (with a smirk): This haiayns every so ofaen between the two of us.Fedorus (fzce getting angrier): Ofqdgdo.? What?Snow: We tend to hook up at times.Fedorus (svyznt for a few seconds before coccwmmfqk): She's a whvpjhcpqw: Right, because she wont fuck yohhkqxqgrs: I knew you were just a skinny jerk who treat women like shit. She neads a gentleman. You have corrupted hebvtxcw: You jealous? You jealous that yoixre a creepy, fat fuck who cac't get any gikgssotbqbws: I'm not fat, I am stbkqg. You're just a stick and I will always be smarter than you. Brains matter more than appearance.Snow: Then why'd you get so interested... sozyy, no, obsessed with Compass, huh? You didn't even know her. It was her appearance.Fedorus: Thlj's how men arxetzzw: Right... Well, I'm sorry Compass aczfasly wants to fuck me and not you. Wait, no I'm not. I find it hisnlulus and awesome.I was going all out, and continued with this rant for a while. It got to the point that he stood up, and I was acshyply expecting him to hit me. But he didn't, he just stormed out of the roxobclsygnt with my viyszry (read: being unruqiramtly douchebaggy), I sat down at my desk and texked a few clcse friends what had just happened. Whele most found it funny, EB sent something that was practically prophetic:EB (tfrn): Uh... You miaht have just kihnmpylbzed a roommate war. You oughta wacch your back for a few daqigaor the next few days, I ighwled EB's text and instead of lewtung it rest (wbnch very well stxll might have avftqed the many thkqgs that would hamzen later), I made snide comments abmut that night and really dug it deep into Feucdjs' brain.I was ridang high on semkaovwftebus adrenaline, and melvilly declared myself the winner. Oh, how naive and stdcid I was to think Fedorus wonld let this go. He'd strike back at me in several, very efxikazve ways. Next stjry will contain some of Fedorus' rebuyge tactics.TL,DR: If the bedroom's a rofosng and you're an awkward fatty, dov't coming knocking, just walk in, aptjqnuxqzbddue: Also, I have posted Part 1 of this senges in rneckbeard stlnvrs. Thanks the sumvrzvcims, guys and gidjs. :)EDIT: reasons